Something about human connection
Reminders to put our phones away are everywhere. Sometimes, they're even on our phones.
I listen to a lot of podcasts, but I don’t listen to anywhere near as some people that I know and follow. Maybe it’s because they’re 2x-listening speed people, but I could never get over the idea of making a human sound like a cartoon mouse so that I can get through the episode faster.
Anyway, this is why I subscribe to a lot of podcasts on TikTok and Instagram. I get fed little clips (in theory, they’re clips of the very best moments) of these podcasts and occasionally get enticed to listen to the entire episode.
Yesterday, I saw a clip from Good Hang with Amy Poehler that stopped me in my tracks. It wasn’t just because I’m a fan of Amy’s and it wasn’t because her guest, Nick Offerman, was arguably my favorite character in the show that he co-starred in with Amy, Parks & Rec.
In the clip, Nick is holding a ukulele. Amy asks if he can play the ukulele. He says yes, and asks if she would like to hear his ukulele song, to which she replies (with the excited wonder of a child), “Yes, please!” The rest is magic:
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You can actually find the full version of this song on YouTube:
The exact verse that caught my ear was the following:
Everywhere I go, people staring at a phone
Sitting in a crowded room, completely alone
It gives me more willies than The Twilight Zone
Our brains are hooked on that shit like a dog on a bone
Put down your gadget, look me in the eye
So our interaction can proceed more gaily
Silence your tablet, ejaculate a sigh
To the sweetly strumming sounds of ukulele
Lately, I have been struggling to do exactly this.
Checking/opening my phone in a moment when nothing is happening (like a commercial break during a basketball game) has become such an instinctual move that I hardly even notice when I’m doing it anymore.
And, I’ve noticed, when I decide to “check my phone” for a minute instead of watching the commercials on the TV screen, I too often find myself looking up ten minutes later to see that I’m missing something meaningful and real. I lose that time and can’t get it back.
Hearing Nick Offerman’s silly ukulele song yesterday reminded me that human connection is more important than whatever is in my phone. Something about the idea of people sitting in a crowded room but being completely alone resonated with me.
I started thinking about how people used to consider the crowd of a bar thoroughly before entering, because they knew these were people that they were going to spend time with and likely get into a conversation with, before everyone started staring at their phone if they weren’t already there with a friend.
So, last night I found myself alone and in need of a bar (so that I could watch the NBA and NHL Playoffs while waiting for my kid to finish her tennis lesson). I found one, with both games on, and made the decision to keep my phone in my pocket. This felt like a good crowd to spend some time with.
After about five minutes, the guy that was sitting next to me put his phone away, too. We started talking, first about sports and then about life and then about the differences between us. We learned that his upbringing in Indiana was not dissimilar from my upbringing in New Jersey. We enjoyed the compelling moments in the basketball and hockey games together. We said goodbye when it was time to go, and I was earnest when I said, “It was really nice to meet you.”
I’m not going to call it a lesson learned. This is a lesson I’ve learned many times before. Putting your phone away encourages human interaction, which is a lot more fulfilling than the social media algorithms. Instead, I’m going to call it a reminder.
And, yeah, I can be mad at myself for falling back into old habits and spending too much time looking at my phone as an escape from the real world, but that doesn’t help matters. Instead, I’m going to be thankful that a reminder presented itself and that I saw enough of it to change an unhealthy pattern.
We can all use reminders sometimes. Occasionally, those reminders even come via your phone and social media. Usually, those reminders are to put the phone down and spend some time remembering that other humans (even the ones you don’t already know) are worth your time and shouldn’t be avoided. Maybe this can be yours.